Category Archives: IRL Ambush

Monkeys found in places that are not South America, Africa or a zoo’s monkey house.

The Fangs Are Not the Problem

“[S]ammy’s owner was sleeping in a bed with the monkey when he accidentally rolled over onto it.” I–no, you didn’t–really–sleep with…SHUDDER. Creepy white-eyelidded monkey pix at site. A vid too, but I couldn’t look. http://www.wavy.com/dpp/news/local_news/pet-monkey-attacks-owner-in-bed (Apologies for the non-clickable link. … Continue reading

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Why I Fear Them 3: Zoonoses

Monkeypox and Yaba virus Measles, rabies, hepatitis, At least three kinds of shigella; Polio and klebsiella Tana pox, tuberculosis, Campylobacteriosis, If you’re not yet a believer There’s simian hemorrhagic fever And ringworm, and Marburg virus Giardia, calicivirus Ebola and erlichia, … Continue reading

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Amherst Ambush

Oh, hell no. Nonononono. A monkey. In diapers and a dress. A pink dress. TUCKED IN SOME CRAZY WOMAN’S BRA. IN A COURTHOUSE. Short of my house or, say, a daycare center, I can’t think of anywhere monkeys belong less. … Continue reading

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Florida Ambush Monkeys, Part Two

Two other reasons not to visit Florida: 2) They allow “pet” monkeys. 3) In Florida, when your “pet” monkey escapes, goes next door and chomps a neighbor’s ear, A) not only do you not have to witness your “pet’s” being … Continue reading

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Florida Ambush Monkeys, Part One

I remember hearing there was a colony of rhesus monkeys in Florida descended from some that escaped from a Tarzan movie set. I always hoped this was urban legend. The Tarzan part, maybe; the monkey part, no. Now I can … Continue reading

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Memphis Zoo Ambush Monkeys

Nobody expects a zoo not to contain monkeys, but they’re generally labeled. If you’re in my hometown and you must visit the zoo, staying away from Primate Canyon is the easy part, because the Memphis Zoo holds many an ambush … Continue reading

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